A Glutton for Punishment?

I have been cross-stitching for years. I really don't know exactly when or why I started, but I really picked up the habit during high school. I made a few for gifts, but it wasn't until college that I started keeping the finished products. Currently, I have four on display in my home; another will probably be completed by Christmas.

As I was working on this latest project today, I started to wonder why I cross-stitch--particularly what-in-the-world-was-I-thinking when I started this pattern? Its kind of a funny story actually. Since the second bedroom is where we will store our books and movies, I decided to decorate it in a fantasy theme and thought it would be fun to make the decorations myself. After researching many different patterns, I purchased "The Best of Teresa Wentzler Fantasy Collection Volume I" and started working. After only 3 months, a castle encircled by a dragon found it's way onto our wall. (Incidentally, I was so proud of it, I hung it in the living room, not the second bedroom...but that is neither nere nor there.)

Fully intending to complete most of the patterns in the book, I promptly started the one entitled "Stroke of Midnight" (features a prince standing in a lighted doorway gazing after a fleeing Cinderella, who is the focus of the piece). Now, I am a hobby cross-stitcher and am learning as I go...learning the hard way, as it were. See, the first pattern in this book was the easiest pattern out of the whole book, though I didn't know it at the time I was doing it. It called for 14-count Aida fabric, pretty standard as far as I was concerned (14 crosses to every inch). This new pattern I started did not have the dimensions for 14 pt., only 25, 28, and 32 count (the higher the count, the smaller the crosses). I thought, 'no problem! I'll just use 25 count. it won't be that bad...' I went to Hobby Lobby and started examining the Aida fabric, only to find that 22 count was about as small as I could handle without making myself prematurely blind. Again, I thought, 'no problem! the end product will just be a bit bigger.'

I went home and started working. My plan was to do the whole background and leave Cinderella and the prince for last.

After I got a few hundred stitches into it (too far to start over), I was getting frustrated with how hard it was to see and how difficult it was to make the 1/2 stitches even. It was then that I noticed the directions at the top of the page. "Our model was stitched over two fabric threads on 25 count Antique White Lugana fabric.....Because of the Cross Stitches worked over one fabric thread, this design is not suitable for stitching on Aida fabric." What?! What is Lugana fabric?!

Unbeknownst to me at that point, there are other types of fabric used for cross stitching. Lugana happens to be what they call a type of "even-weave" fabric. It's very useful for all those little 1/2 and 1/4 stitches. Oh yeah, and after reading more of the little type, I find out that this pattern is meant to be cross stitched over two threads instead of just one. To put it in non-cross stitch terms, it is the same as dividing the count by two. So for instance, if I decided to cross stitch with the 25 count, it would have the same effect as if I had decided to use 12.5 count material.

When I realized this, I was taken aback. So much work I had already put into this project and I would have to finish it now, as is, on 22 count Aida fabric.

That was about 10 months ago. I have continued to work on it and, as I said at the beginning of this post, it is almost done. I started to work on the prince and Cinderella today, which made me realize that although I still have a lot to do, I am nearing the end of the project. So I laid it flat on the coffee table and looked at it. The dimensions are 185 stitches x 234 stitches, which translates into 43,290 individual crosses, or only 8in.x10in. It has the smallest area of any cross stitch in my house right now. And yet I am pouring more work into it than I have in any other cross stitch. Ever.

So what is it about cross stitching that makes me keep coming back for more--even though I got the fabric and the count completely wrong? What makes me undo and redo stitches to make it as perfect as I am able? Am I crazy? No, I delight in knowing that someday the project will be finished. The process is enjoyable because at any time I get to take a step back and see how the total picture is coming along.

The thing is, when I look at the completed projects in my home, I only vaguely remember the frustrations I felt when I had to redo a complete section because I was off by one stitch. I am amazed as I look at each individual picture because I realize that I did it! Its something that I can be proud of because it is a work of my hand.

And I think sometimes that's how God views us. There are a lot of times that I feel pricked by God's metaphoric cross stitching needle. It's not always pleasant, but I know it is for the glory of God. He is continually molding us into the likeness of the perfect person--Jesus. Even though we can't always see the big picture, God does. He continues to delight in us because He made us for that very purpose.

The parallel obviously breaks down in some respects because God doesn't make mistakes (and cross stitchers do), but I think that the initial parallel is still true. God will continue to work out our imperfections because He loves us. We can be sure of that.